


a hundred ways

by awksha



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 100 Ways to Say I Love You Writing Challenge, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:13:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awksha/pseuds/awksha
Summary: as she helps him find redemption, hermione realises that her feelings aren't as easy to control as she thinks. now, she has one hundred ways to say she loves him, even if he will never know.





	1. even if it kills her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i’m sure you’ve heard of the ministry’s new reformation program.”

**ninety-three - i believe in you**

she runs a hand through her hair, takes a deep breath, and pushes the door open.

his head hangs low, does not move even when she sits in front of him. she can see the grime on his striped jumpsuit, the invisible bonds that hold his wrists together, and the faded black numbers that sit on his chest. the silence that fills the room threatens to crush her lungs with anxiety. she clears her throat, folds her hands atop the table, and waits for him to look up.

“i don’t want your pity,” his voice is rough, as though he hasn’t used it in years.

“look, i-”

“save it, granger.” he lifts his head, grey eyes glaring at her from behind matted hair - is that _blood_ \- as she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. he looks different from the last time she saw him. there are dark specks of dirt clinging onto his fringe, a mess of tangled platinum strands that do not fit his usual elegance. he’s much skinnier now, she notes, all sharp edges and long limbs. she frowns; azkaban did not treat its guest well.

refusing to break eye contact, she raises her chin - she’ll make him listen even if it kills her. “i’m sure you’ve heard of the ministry’s new reformation program.”

“do you honestly think it will work?” his gaze pierces through her defenses, as if he could somehow see through the layers that keep her sane. he scoffs and a cynical chuckle echoes off peeling walls. “the ministry’s grand plan to reform young death eaters is about as helpful as that bumbling half-giant that taught us in school. everyone would rather see us dead, so i don’t think they’d be banging on azkaban’s doors for the opportunity to take one of us under their wing.”

“well, i’m here.”

at this he looks at her, _really_ looks at her, and raises a single brow. “and why is that?”

“i want to help.” she says, and chews on her bottom lip when he chuckles once more. he seems to do that a lot, she realises. then again, she supposes that there isn’t much to do in prison other than laugh or cry. six months in here and he’s chosen to laugh; she doesn’t know what this says about him.

“you mean kinglsey forced you to help,” he ignores her splutter of indignation and continues. “he asked you to do this as a show of good faith - if hermione granger, war heroine and muggleborn, can be the bigger person and help change the very people who tortured her…”

he trails off at this, the unspoken memory hanging between them like a rubber band ready to snap. they lower their heads, eyes downcast, as they look anywhere but at the person before them. coughing, he shakes his fringe from his forehead and glances at her slightly trembling figure.

“why would you want to help me?”

the question is so sudden that she nearly misses it in the heavy silence. for a moment, she doesn’t say a thing. she stares back at him, with no meat on his bones and no mischief in his eyes, at the boy who used to make her life a living hell, and who has done more wrong in his life than a teenager ever could. but she softens all the same, silently prays that she won’t regret this, and says the one thing that will change their lives forever.

“i believe in you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i decided to make this a hell of a lot more angsty than it should be so i'm starting over. enjoy!


	2. her best foot forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "war heroine, hermione granger, adopts death eater jr!"

**twenty-four - just because**

_the daily prophet:_

_war heroine, hermione granger, adopts death eater jr!_

not too long ago, minister shacklebolt released a statement about a newly launched death eater reform program. according to the minister, the program aims to help ease the children of death eaters - who may or may not have been part of voldemort’s cause - back into society with the hopes that they’ll overcome their prejudices. the public’s response to the program is negative at best but this reporter thinks things will change once they hear of this.

hermione granger, part of the golden trio and a respected war heroine, has stepped up to become the first person to ‘adopt’ a death eater. this death eater is none other than draco malfoy. the young malfoy was sentenced to a year in azkaban for his crimes during the war (including, but not limited to, aiding and abetting the death of one albus dumbledore) and has had all his assets seized as part of his punishment. his father, lucius malfoy, was given the dementor’s kiss early this year. sadly, narcissa malfoy née black, his mother, was killed during the battle of hogwarts. the now orphaned heir has spent only six months in azkaban when miss granger decided to become his mentor for the reformation program.

we sat down with miss granger for a quick interview about this interesting development.

dp: miss granger, could you tell us why you took the initiative to participate in this project?

hg: honestly, we were all children during the war, and we have _all_ done things that we are not proud of to survive. i believe that they should have a chance to find redemption. we talk about equality and moving on, but unless we can practice what we preach, we will merely be hypocritical members of society who would have fought for nothing. a brighter future for the new generation starts with us getting over our prejudices.

dp: why would you choose to help mister malfoy out of all the potential candidates?

hg: it is my hope to be able to change his views on traditional pureblood values into one that is more open-minded. since we have gone to school together, i would like to think that it’d be easier.

dp: but why him specifically?

hg: because.

dp: because?

hg: just because.

unfortunately, we could not prompt miss granger for a longer response as she had to leave for a prior affair. we can only hope that miss granger’s efforts will not go to waste. perhaps it will work, perhaps mister malfoy learns the errors of his ways and repents. there are many maybes. however, this reporter believes that miss granger is putting her best foot forward to become the bigger person; if anyone can reform death eaters, it’s hermione granger. we should follow in her lead to help those we can.

for more information about the death eater reformation program and how you can help, please contact miss angelina johnson of the auror department via owl.

_written by: susan bones_


	3. tear her scars open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “we haven’t gotten to the worst part of this arrangement, granger. would you like to know what it is?”

**thirty-six - we’ll figure it out**

it takes two hours for the paperwork to be cleared and for the restrictions to be placed.

they start by magically sticking a tracker onto him, accompanied by a particularly nasty spell that will shock him if he so much as thinks of dabbling in the dark arts. his wand remains confiscated, staying in its box to be forever locked away in the deep archives of the ministry.

then, they remove his magic.

she remembers his grunt of pain, a silent scream slipping past gritted teeth, when they temporarily sever the very fibre of his being from him. two minutes into the procedure and she turns away, unable to watch her former classmate melt to the floor in pain.

as she signs the necessary documents, she pretends not to hear the aurors jeer at him. his muscles are weak underneath their harsh grip as they haul him from his seat. when she finally turns to look at him, the broken grimace on his lips shows that he’s used to this. they throw him at her with a disgust that sends her reeling in surprise. she reaches out, prays she isn’t a second too late, and catches his stumbling body before he shatters his jaw on the cold floor.

one floo ride later and they stand in the middle of his new home.

there isn’t much to see in the small apartment - the walls are a creamy white, furniture scattered around the living room with muted greys, a marble countertop in the kitchen, and a single door that leads to the flat’s only bedroom. judging by the glimmer of apprehension in his eyes, she knows he hates it.

he exhales and leans against the stone of the fireplace. there’s something about the way he shifts his weight that throws her off, makes her crease her forehead in subtle worry. when the blonde lolls his head to the left, she knows that the sweat trickling down the side of his pale face is not from the heat.

“sit down,” he raises a brow at her command. she sighs, crosses her arms across her chest, and points her chin at the couch in the center of the room. “at the rate you’re going, you are definitely going to faint. just sit on the damn couch, malfoy, before i’m forced to levitate you.”

grudgingly, he shuffles toward it, slowly lowering himself to it as though it might set him on fire. she stares at him from her new spot at the opposite armchair, uncomfortably toying with the hem of her sweater. the air between them is thick with unease but they don’t care, choosing instead to stew in the silence and relish in its embrace. as his eyes dart across the apartment with a swiftness that only quidditch seekers have, hope blooms in her chest at the thought that maybe, just _maybe_ , she could do this.

she starts to explain the program to him - how they’d have to meet at least twice a week, and how he’d have to learn to live the muggle way. as she talks about their monthly check-ins with the ministry, she can feel his gaze resting on her.

shifting uncomfortably in her seat, she trails off to meet his scowl. “what’s wrong?”

“well,” he sighs, “let’s start with the fact that i’m out of azkaban and everyone in the wizarding world will probably try to kill me soon. oh, let’s also not forget that i have no magic or any other means to defend myself against such an attack. nevermind that there are wards placed on this apartment, who will stop them when i’m outside, alone and helpless?”

he glares up at her, elbows pressing into thin thighs as he leans forward. “we haven’t gotten to the worst part of this arrangement, granger. would you like to know what it is?”

“tell me.” she whispers, desperately trying to mould into the soft fabric of the armchair. the flash of regret in his eyes is quickly replaced with a fire that intends to _hurt_.

“you’re trying to help your childhood bully become someone better.”

she stiffens, shoulders tight with memories that flit through her mind too quickly. it takes all the strength she has not to collapse into a fit of tears when he sneers and proceeds to tear her scars open.

“you’re putting your effort into changing a death eater,” he spits, wild with a rage that threatens to crumble her defenses. “you, for some reason, want to help the very person who stood and did nothing when you were tortured right in front of him. what kind of messed up person drags their tormentor out of the depths of prison to try and reform him?”

he runs a hand through his hair, raising his voice and glaring holes through her very being. he doesn’t see her throat close up, doesn't see the way she blinks at the ceiling in rapid succession. “did you think you could save everyone, granger? not everyone can be fucking saved! merlin only knows why you chose me; out of everyone in that fucking jail, you chose me: draco _fucking_ malfoy!”

“how-” he chokes, voice cracking as he rasps his last question. “how could you possibly help someone like me?”

from her place in the chair, she watches as he crash-lands back to reality. his head is in his heads, frantic fingers pulling at dirty strands of blonde, as he pants from his outburst. she can see his limbs shaking from exhaustion, the dark circles under his eyes stark against hollow pale cheeks.

she takes a shuddering breath and pushes herself up onto her feet. a hesitant hand, trembling with nerves (and a little fear), rests atop his bony shoulder. letting a tense smile split her lips, she squeezes.  

“we’ll figure it out.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> prompt list can be found here: http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you


End file.
